Wow, cobwebby! I'd bet even my mom's stopped reading by now. I've been indisposed, working furiously for giggles. Also, photographing and recording as many moments of Thea's life as is possible. At this rate, when I'm old I'll be able to relive approximately 20 percent of her total childhood = four straight years of footage if I continue at this rate until she is 20 years old. I can't stop myself. After she goes to bed I sit here and look at pictures of the old days, her early babyhood and get misty, be ridiculous... and do a little pick-up about the house in a manner that borders on desperate. It drains me that I'm always wrestling with priorities. Everything else is lucky times.

Fuddled

I went to work today and found myself not at all on the schedule but stayed to work nevertheless. I'd made the mistake because I set my event calendar to start it's week on Monday and not on the traditional Sunday of printed puppydog calendars like the one I leave lying around with my work schedule written onto it so my husband will make sure the be here and care for our child. That same column on the computer which represents Friday, represents Saturday on the old fashioned glossy paper calendar. On the misconsultation of the two of them, I packed my kid off to the grandparents and went into work when I shouldn't have.

Brilliant x1.

Once there I realized that I still have to work tomorrow, as per both calendars, the same times I came for today, so quick-like fired off an email to my huzzband about how I wont be home until after 4 tomorrow and queried would it be worth it to go camping as we'd planned because the drive was 4.5 hours according to Google maps, not including boob/poop factor (which is what I wrote).

And the response I got was IT IS TOTALLY WORTH IT! WHERE ARE WE GOING?? LOVE, CLARK (clark's cousin clark).

Brilliant x2.

So I emailed my huzzzband Clark and he wrote me back WTF? and started calling me in a nervous fashion and when I finally was able to call him back he was like DOOD, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? WE ARE GOING CAMPING NEXT WEEKEND, NOT THIS WEEKEND.

Brilliant x3.

So today I was in the wrong place, sending the wrong information to the wrong person about the wrong time. It's like I totally walked around the world and tapped myself on the shoulder. I'm so wrong but I feel right, right, right.

In other news, this is a damn cute baby. Don't even pretend otherwise.






My mom took this picture, which I think might be the greatest baby picture of all times.

My friend Beer, who maybe you remember if you were reading this blog five years ago, called me from Thailand last night while I was working, and after the phone sat there for 25 minutes buzzing again and again I handed it over to my friend Rebecca to answer for me, to find out why/for was I such a hotly sought property. She answered and was like WHAT? WHO? BEAR FROM CHINA? I DON'T THINK SO and was about to hang up when I got that "Beer from Thailand" might sounds awfully like "Bear from China" over a bad connection with a strong accent after four years and enough of a lag to start talking over half of every sentence. OMG I'd totally given her up. A few months ago, in a freak fit of pre-baby cleaning, I even threw away the 723-digit phone numbers for her grandmother's house where nobody even speaks English because it just seemed too impossible... and because it was taking up too much space?? Rebecca told her I couldn't talk so she said she'd call back in an hour then never did.

So I sat around in an overheated and foul mood today, in part because WTF? Priorities? and because I feel like a lousy mom when I'm always over-tired because I can't go to bed on time. Ahem. And, and, and... am I stimulating my baby's brain enough? Is she bored of me singing the same stupid songs? Did she just fart because I selfishly nibbled a broccoli stem? I put her in the exersaucer today because I feel so guilty about my messy house then I was ravaged by guilt for not holding her. DO MOMS EVER WIN? Can someone tell me what it looks like when you are doing everything, or even most things right?

Anyhoo... Tonight Beer called me again and I was here to answer. She'd been back briefly to Portland and couldn't find me, lost my number, went to the house where I no longer lived and the job I no longer held, looked up me up by the last name that I no longer use and finally, after she was already back in Thailand someone gave her my old number which is apparently, luckily, the only thing I have held onto for the last four years. Well, that's about the greatest thing that has happened to me after, you know, the baby and stuff.

Speaking of... here she is!


knuckle sammich


chubs


oh toe!!


ka-zonks

She is 12 weeks old now and prefers to be held standing, otherwise she slumps. She is rolling over, swiping at toys, drooling, teething, and growing more hair. She recently discovered and is fascinated by her feet which have been doing stuff all along apparently without her knowledge, and she stamps them like a Lipizzaner when we ask her 2+2, which we do when we know she is going to stamp her feet. She sleeps most of the night, most nights, as she always has... except tonight bause now i hear her fussing and haveto go bye

10 weeks old

Beset by octopi


Aplague with musical ducks


Giraffe-wrastling phalanges


Full-body baby camo

One month old

I spend a lot of time nursing this little girl, nursing and reconstructing my notions of motherhood. I don't hardly remember what they were, but this they aren't. I couldn't have imagined.

Baby, finally

Thea Chance Nelson
Born on her due date, May 25th 2009 at 11pm after 24 hours of blood-splattered labor, gruesome and painful beyond words. She weighed in at 7 pounds, 6 ounces and measured 19 inches long. We are back home now and the memory of her birth has already become something else, something that feels euphoric and poignant. What a trick of biology.

At 11:15pm Clark sent out a text message to our parents announcing THERE IS A BABY. Yes, there is and she is the coolest thing I have ever seen.